So we've just got back from our visit to the husbands parents. Three
weeks of relative relaxation, the operative word being "relative" of
course (no pun intended). Still it's good to be back. After a certain
point you miss the comfort that familiarity offers. Your own bed, your
pillow that's slightly wonky in it's own special way, your favourite
mug, and coffee just the way you like it.
Having said that (I'm now going to say this! - I love Seinfeld, obviously!), Wales was a lot of fun.
Baby was thrilled to be there. His grandparents were overjoyed to have
him and it was very special and beautiful to watch them bond. And even
though the weather was atrocious almost all the time we were there, and
we couldn't do half the things we'd planned to do, it was still great.
And now we're back. Baby was actually pleased to be back. We said
elaborate "hellos' and "we missed yous" to almost all our favourite
toys. Even then it took longer than a week to get back into some
semblance of a routine. And what do you know it's already the end of
January! Christmas has come and gone, hell the new years come and gone
it seems, and I'm as usual struggling to make my peace with how quickly
time passes. Baby is all set to turn two in a few days. Imagine that! My
little new born baby! Two years old! A proper little boy! It's enough
to make me laugh and cry (and misuse the poor old exclamation marks!!).
The other day at his play-group, this lady who's son is about a year
younger said to me, "I always worry about the older kids crashing into
him"; and I said, "yeah so do I". She looked at me for a while and then
said, "You do realise that your boy is one of the older kids?" My turn to look at her for a while, and then smile and shrug. I can't
believe how quickly the time has gone. (Though of course if you'd asked
me at 3 in the morning today, after days and nights of no sleep, I'd tell you I've
felt every single second of the last two years!).
The last two years have been great. And so hard. I don't think I've ever
felt more than I have in the last two years. I've never felt such joy,
such despair. My relationship with husband has never felt more
meaningful, problematic, more tender, more fraught. It's so easy to
underestimate the effect having a baby has on your relationship. To be
fair, our relationship has never been placid. We are both too passionate
for that to happen. Baby just added another layer of complexity to
already complicated dynamics. But I digress.
So to sum up, baby turns two soon. A
far as I can tell 2012 is almost over, and before I know it he'll be off
to university, screening my calls. In other words, I'm old and wondering where my life
went. Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but you get what I'm saying,
right?
Today is the first day in over a month that I've been able to get a
couple of hours just to myself. That's another thing I missed about
London when we were away, the ability to just take off.
Oh and did I mention that we're still teething? (Hah. Bet you thought
you'd escaped my constant moaning about teeth this time. Gotcha!).
Canines now. The worst so far. The way I look at it, it can only get
better from here. The other day, after a long hard teething day (would
not let me out of his sight and cried at the smallest things, and all
this after paracetamol), I looked at him and said, "Your teeth!", before
I could finish he chimed in, "Teeth! Naughty little monkeys!"
But hey I think we're on the home stretch now. 12 out, 2 canines have
cut through, two more are imminent. Then there's just the four big
molars. Almost done!
Wonder what the next big thing will be.
