So as I start I've decided that I'm going to blog at least once a week. You see the only way I can get any time on my own to do anything at all is to leave the house. Without baby. So a weekend blog it's going to be! I have a little weekend ritual. Every weekend I try and leave baby with father and take off for a few hours (the operative word being "try"). More often than not I find a cafe, order something to drink (sometimes with lunch, other times I skip lunch and go straight for the dessert!), and try and do two things: not think about baby (for at least 10 mins. What? I'm not a fantasist!), and to write. Something. Anything. Not that I manage to get away every weekend. And even when I do there have been times when the phone has rung barely twenty mins into my away time. Yelling baby, exasperated father. Oh the joys!
So you see now my "away time" is going to be my blog time! I'm sure none of this is even remotely interesting for any of you, but hey this *is* my life!
So anyway, the big thing this week has been "separation anxiety". It seems the fact that baby is with me all day and night long is just not enough. If I so much as take a step away from him (to do something totally unreasonable, like say, go to the loo!) even when his father is in the same room, it leads to such inconsolable crying that I've decided going to the loo alone is over-rated. Hugely. It's all a bit strange. Because he really is an independent little boy. Keeps himself busy. With his toys, crayons (he loves "painting"), books, destroying the house. And he does really want to be left alone, most of the time. Of course he's not even two yet so he does clamber into my lap every now and then, just to check in. We have our "cuddle time" and "tickle time" and more recently "kitkitkit Kashmiri tickle time"!
According to "Dr. Google" this whole "I-can't-bear-to-let-you-out-of-my-sight" thing is a toddler thing. A phase. He'll grow out of it. Apparently. So while I wait for the time when he's away at university screening my calls, I try to remember that with babies, toddlers, everything is a phase. And it's true. You really actually do forget. Burping, gas and vaccinations which were the big things in our lives just a year ago are such long-forgotten non-issues now that we are dealing with our pre-molars cutting through. And of course separation anxiety.
The other day after a really hard night (he kept his eyes closed, though I knew he wasn't sleeping, for as long as I rocked him. The minute I'd stop he'd start crying), both of us finally managed to sleep for a couple of hours in the morning. I woke up, as usual just heartbeats before him. He opened his eyes, looked at me, smiled and said, "aayeyah (that's what baby calls himself these days) love mamma!" Worth all the sleepless nights in the world. A thousand times over.
Oh almost forgot, the other thing this week has been baking! The not so long rainy afternoons do seem less dreary when you can smell the brownies baking (sometimes burning, but what the hey!). Either that or maybe I'm going down the "Plath path"! Thankfully I'm not talented enough to seriously contemplate killing myself. Phew.
And if anyone wants to try my take on the traditional banana bread, give me a shout!
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