Hi!

 

There are so many of us. Thirty-something first time mums. Seriously, almost every single friend of mine (with many smart and much envied exceptions of course) has either had a baby in the last couple of years or is about to have one. To say that having a baby changes your life, is a major understatement and a bit obvious. By now all of us know just how much your life and your world changes (and those of you who's bundles of joy are still in your tummies, you'll find out soon enough - for now, sleep! Please!)

I'll tell anyone who asks and quite a few poor unsuspecting souls who don't, that having and raising a baby is the hardest thing I've ever done. And I've done a lot of hard things in my life. Well kind of. I've pulled all nighters before exams. Written entire research papers in days. Worked 12 hour shifts. Spent days on my feet. Worked long hard night shifts. Of course once you have a baby you realise there's a whole new definition of "hard". And no matter how many night shifts you pull, you get no bloody days off. And that is the essence of it all. It's just so full-time. No time off. No recovery time. No sick days. No "me" time. No time at all. 

And then you have people. Well meaning people who keep telling you what the "Right Way" of doing everything is. They also helpfully tell you that things will get better. I've since learned to tone down my instinctive response to all such people. Which is essentially "Go to hell!". And "No it doesn't get better. You get better at dealing with it. (whatever the "it" of the moment is). And just as you do, baby throws something completely new into the mix, and bang, you'right where you started."

There are times I'm convinced it's just me. Maybe there are women out there who deal with extreme sleep deprivation and an almost total annihilation of their selfhood much better. Or maybe they have perfect little babies who sleep 12 hour nights, nap on time, eat well and say excuse me when they burp and poop! Don't get me wrong. I adore my baby. He's wild and strong minded, wilful, and has so much personality that a townful of "perfect" babies and their mums pale into insignificance in front of him. (Okay so maybe I'm a bit biased. He's my son! I'm in love with him! I'm allowed!). And I can't even for a second imagine my life without him. And there's nothing I wouldn't do for him.

But that doesn't mean I'm not aware of the toll this whole situation is taking on me, my husband and sometimes our relationship with each other. It's great, but man it's hard. Really really hard. Rewarding, sure, but back-breaking. And sometimes quite lonely.

So after all of this by way of an introduction, let me come to the point. (Yeah, I've been told I don't do "succinct" very well. I've made my peace with that!). I just thought it might be useful to have a place where we could connect. Talk. About baby driving us crazy (well, at least in my case!). But also about other things. Work. Play (I don't know, maybe some of you have it figured out so well that play actually happens. Please tell me how!). Books. Films. Food. Sleepless nights. Music. Little luxuries (like sleep! And long hot showers!). Big anxieties (is he eating too little? Too much? What?). Rants. Things that help. Things that don't. Anything. 

I'll start posting. Every one of you is welcome to write. I know it' ll be erratic (in my case for sure). And even if you don't want to write, read, and tell me what you think.

Oh almost forgot, though I'm sure by now you've figured out the thought behind the title of this blog. Lady? What lady? And leisure? Hah! Let's leave it at that then!

So anyway, hello to you all and let's shake it up!